Autofrei Finds Its Dream Car

It’s a Mercury Lynx GS 5-Speed Diesel! Yes, this Mercury ticks every box and somehow it still comes up short.

 

You want obscurity? As if people still remember Ford’s 1980s world car, the Escort, nobody is going to use up potentially worthwhile brain cells on the Mercury Lynx.

It’s a survivor, speckled with rust, and there’s worn grey paint over a leisure suit Larry maroon interior. For every other urge to be contrary, there’s a hatchback, a manual transmission, and the wheezy old engine runs on trucker fuel.

You want perfect rims? look at those mismatched steelies! You want bumpers? You could use them as a bench. If what you want is a repulsive, generally terrible, totally unloved, rattly, dinky little shitbox, look no further than this crap can Mercury.

  It’s everything I claim I want in a car, but perfection isn’t about giving you exactly what you want. I pray that I never own this car.

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11 Responses to Autofrei Finds Its Dream Car

  1. Automobiliac says:

    Hilarious. Best post EVER.

  2. Automobiliac says:

    Is this part of the Occupy Bond Street protests?

    • Raphael Orlove says:

      Yeah, some protesters got confused and followed this thing up from Zuccotti park thinking it was an undercover WikiLeaks staff vehicle.

  3. Håkbråk says:

    Brilliant. I always thought the diesel-engined Escorts/Lynxes were mythical creatures. How could you tell it was an oil-burner? VIN decoder, or did the owner start it?

    Oh, btw, the steelies aren’t really mismatched, it’s just missing its baby hubcap on the rear wheel.

  4. George says:

    Those bumpers were the strongest ever built on any car anywhere: See the Lynx’s sister car, the Escort in a 5mph crash test sequence here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVLIvf7rsBg

    Theres also quite a following for the first generation Escort 1981 – 1990, and Lynx 1981 to 1987 (then replaced by the Tracer at Mercury) at various online groups, such as the Ford Escort Owner’s Association (feoa.org)

    The Diesel variants of the Escort / Lynx are good for 40 mpg and more, pretty good for 1980’s technology, especially now that car makers are producing 40 mpg cars as something new and different. Here’s the Yahoo group for the Diesel cars: http://autos.groups.yahoo.com/group/DieselEscortOwners/

    You’ll find many 1st generation Escort / Lynx fans here too: http://www.feoa.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewforum&f=33 – that the forum page for these cars, one of the best selling little grocery getters of the 1980’s, Ford’s first American-built front-wheel drive cars, and tuneable for economy or sport.

    I’m restoring one: A 1984 Lynx that is going to be a “clone” of a 1984 Ford Escort GT. Here’s the build-link: http://www.feoa.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=78497

  5. tj says:

    For an Eastcoast car 25 years old it looks like its held up better than most, better mileage than a prius, and i’m sure the escort/lynx was one of the best selling cars for almost 2 decades for no reason at all….. >_>

  6. Ricky says:

    I don’t know much about the diesel model Escort/Lynx except that they delivered exceptional fuel mileage, but the gas models were/still are great cars. I own two ’88 Ford Escorts. One of them has a 4 speed manual transmission linked to a 1.9 liter gas engine and consistently delivers 40+ MPG mixed city/highway. It’s also still running on the original engine at 24 years old/518,700 miles and has never been rebuilt. Maybe it’s not as stylish as some cars, but it performs the job it was built for VERY WELL. I think you’re assessment is wrong. I don’t think the millions of people who bought the Escort/ZX-2/Lynx/Tracer between ’81-’04 were all wrong.

    • Antoine Carr says:

      I agree my mom had a 1986 Mercury Lynx Hatch 3 door L 1.9 L 4 cylinder engine carburated 3 speed auto am fm stereo cassette included .It was a best performing car .Our next ride was a Pontiac Sunfire puff puff shit box stalled more than it drove dam thing POS…!
      If i had 2k i would most certainly buy another Ford Escort /Mercury Lynx for sure! Not pretty not fancy ,But IT WILL GO FROM POINT A TO POINT B any day any weather for sure whit out complaints .I agree a 100% they were odd lil square cars but maintained well they last id have that over a modern car any day for sure .Oh the memories ….beautiful old habit 110 il find you again BOH-110 Mercury Lynx L .see you soon some day ..From a lynx escort lover for life.

  7. Antoine Car says:

    Those Escort and Mercury are my personal favorite 80 car why i learn to drive in a Mercury Lynx L hatchback 1986 yeah jsut like this but gasoline 1,9 L and 2 door insted of 4 and auto trans my my the memories are flooding back i lvoed that car simple cheap reliable Thanks for taking the time to take a few pictures brings back the time i drove my Lynx L

  8. Antoine Carr says:

    my lord the memories of driving my moms old Mercury Lynx L was the best car we ever had !!! next was the pos Pontiac scra a fire sunfire 2001 what apos that was!! The lil Mercury Lynx is not a show car ,its a grocery getter beater car, kid to school and back .Those sold like hot cakes the bread and butter of FORD LTD back in the 80s . Pinto was a disaster the, Escort, Exp, LN7 ,Lynx save ford from bankrupcy back i n the old days .This lil odd ball Mercury Lynx GS 5 Speed Diesel was one car you could get in and go out any day of the week and it would get ya there for sure. Whit no clic no tic no rattle just a good honest car that drove well for its day this, 5 door hatchback . Lord knows i want it back i miss my old Mercury Lynx L 3 door id take that over a 2019 focus any day of the week whit 0 complaint .(really)
    The rims are missing the moon dish baby cap on the rear wheel is all if paid any attention to the drive train it would last for many years id drive it 24/7 if i had the money to buy it again lord only knows i would .
    Yes i love this lil Mercury Lynx my child hood traveling car gone but never forgotten .
    one day i hope to have another Ford Escort or Mercury Lynx once again i sure miss it i learn to drive in one .

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